So I started this blog to share my adventures and my knowledge with you.
Today I would like to share my hopes and my dreams with you.
Because I’ve realized (and known for awhile) that I don’t have that much knowledge. I am not an expert in most matters. But I think the thing that has inspired people the most, that has excited people the most, is when I speak to them about my hopes and dreams.
I think that perhaps, the fire they see in my eyes, is inspiring. And it inspires people, not to live the life I want to lead, but to live the life they want to lead. Passion is contagious.
When you see someone so passionate about something, it inspires you to the find the same passion in yourself.
And so today, that is what I am going to do.
Ever since I left university, and finally felt free to do whatever it was I wanted to do, my life motto has been “who knows?”. Who knows what will become of my future. There are an infinite amount of possibilities. And that is extremely exciting.
Who I am today, and who I am tomorrow are two different people. How am I to know that what I want today is the same thing I will want 10, 20 or 100 days from now.
There are many things in life that are out of our control, and you never know what life is going to throw at you.
So, as much as it is in our nature to want to be able to predict the future, we ultimately cannot.
(However, I do believe in creating your reality, and believing in something so much that you make it happen)
Nothing is permanent in life. Something is always changing. No one and nothing belongs to you.
I’ve come to the point in my life where I am aware, that I know nothing for certain, I simply choose to believe.
And even at that, I don’t attach myself to any ideas or thoughts of the future. Because you never know what is going to happen. You might want to, in order to make yourself feel secure, or safe, but life is about being able to go with the flow. It’s about choosing to see the positive side of the coin (being aware of the negative) but choosing to focus on the positive (because why the hell not).
Anywho, I’m getting off topic.
After university, I travelled to South Korea, because I wanted to travel, and experiment with teaching.
I loved teaching, but didn’t love South Korea. So I decided not to spend any more time in a place that I knew I didn’t want to be in, and took off travelling.
At first, I thought I would fly straight to Malaysia and start organic farming, which was something I also wanted to experiment with. However, I was so close to Japan and the Great Wall of China, that I told myself “take advantage of it while you can, because you might never get this opportunity again”.
And the more I live life, the more often I am grateful for the times that I told myself, “take advantage of the opportunity you are being given now”. Hop on it. Either you will be thankful you did, or you will learn an important lesson. It’s a win-win scenario.
When I got back from travelling, I went back to the Keg because I was in debt, and it was the easy thing to do. But I am so thankful that I decided to go work on a farm the following summer. (I love the Keg, but “been there, done that”).
I very much believe in the slogan “it’s better to regret having done something, than to regret not having done anything at all”.
Again, farming was something that I figured I would try. Either I was going to like it, or I wouldn’t. If I didn’t, well then it wasn’t a mistake, it was a learning experience. If I didn’t like it, at least I could say I tried it, and now it is off the list. But you have to try things in life to figure out what you like doing. And I really do believe that most of life is about trying things and figuring out what you don’t like doing until you are left with what you do like doing.
But I really do feel like I struck gold somehow. I had been listening to my heart for awhile at that point, and it finally brought me to the place that I wanted to be. In that moment that is. I feel like I’ve stumbled along a path, and that path is currently bringing me through organic gardening, farming, homesteading. But the path is endless, and perhaps this forest will last forever, but I may also come to a clearing at some point, or a river, or a volcano, or who the hell knows.
But once you’ve started listening to your heart, it’s extremely hard to not listen to it. And it will lead you wherever it wants to go. (Of course these are all metaphors, God knows what I am even saying).
Okay, off track (a bit) again.
I got back from farming, and told myself that my one goal for the next year was to learn how to be self-sufficient. To learn how to grow food on my own. To be able to feed my family and friends.
And that is what I am doing. Granted, not as well as I would have liked. I had over the winter, put more focus into my job and paying rent than really doing what I had wanted to do. “As is life” many of us would say.
But I have now decided to follow my heart once again.
I still want to do my garden. And I do not want to do it half assed. (Screw multitasking which gets you nowhere quick, instead of doing one job extremely well in 5 days, you do 10 jobs 10% well.) I want to do it well. And I will see where that takes me.
Perhaps I will do a great job and the nuns in the Monastery will ask me to use their land next year to grow on a bigger scale.
Perhaps I will gain the confidence to work on a bigger scale and use land in Oka that a friend of the family has.
Perhaps friends of mine will buy a piece of land and I will live on it and start a successful business that we can split 50/50.
Perhaps I will not get into commercial farming at all (or at least not yet) and instead I will choose to live off grid, in a sustainable, self-sufficient community.
Perhaps I will go to construction school around the corner for cheap and learn how to build my own home, and learn on the side how to do so with recycled materials and alternative energy sources.
Who knows what will happen!
All I know right now, is that I want to work on my garden. And I believe that if I do that, and listen to my heart, then only good things will come. And really, that’s not what makes me feel good. I don’t rely on good things “coming” to me. Instead, I focus on what makes me happy. And doing what makes me happy. I do believe that if I do that, then good things will come (because that is what I choose to believe). But my focus is not on the ends, it is on the means. Because you never know what is going to happen.
But if life is a summation of the present, then as long as you make sure you are happy in the present, you are bound to have a wonderful life. So that is what I plan to do.
And a wonderful life is what I wish for all. Whatever that life is. All I can say is follow your heart, it won’t let you down.
So I need to add on to this post.
I forgot to mention my present, most grandiose dream.
It’s an expansion of the “off-grid, sustainable, self-sufficient community” dream.
I would love to work outside every day. I would love to grow my own food. I would love to have mobile greenhouses set up for tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, sweet potatoes. I would love to have a super greenhouse for avocado trees, lemons, grapefruits, figs, and even banana trees. I would love to have apple trees and other native fruit bearing trees. From which we could make apple juice, apple cider and apple cider vinegar. I would love to have maple trees from which we could harvest sap. I would love to have bees, to help rebuild their community and ensure they do not go extinct.
All of this of course is a lot for one person. And that is why a community is so important. Everyone has their specialty, something they are better at than others. And so everyone would have their specialty, and we could share amongst ourselves, but we could also come together to help each other with our daily tasks when need be.
I also love the idea of having camps or educational programs, where kids could learn about food and take part in producing it. Not only would it be great to have young kids taking part in all of this, but I also think it would be good for kids in Juvy or having difficulties in life. Learning how to grow your own food is extremely empowering, and can build your confidence like crazy. It also makes you feel like you are doing something very productive, very important. It would also be good for sick people or elderly people. Basically, being outside, getting dirty and breathing fresh air is good for everyone’s mental and physical health.
Everyone would be welcome. And those who really enjoy the life style would be welcome to stay, given that they contribute in some way. Because it doesn’t matter how young, or old, or educated you are. Everyone has something to contribute.
So that is my “big” dream at the moment. Really, I believe it’s not that big and it’s more than attainable.
I’ve begun listening to my heart again in the past few months, and when you do, things just seem to fall in place.
I am very excited about my future at this moment. And that is a wonderful feeling.
Granted if we were always excited, we wouldn’t know we were excited. So we can’t get down on ourselves when we feel like we are missing that excitement in our life.
But it is in those times that it is important to sit down with ourselves and tune in to how we are feeling and listen to what our heart is really saying. Which means letting go of all your thoughts about what you are “supposed” to do, or what other people think you of you or what you should be doing. A lot of things in this life are bigger than us, and you need to stop holding on to what you think you want, and just go with the flow.
(Did I mention I also hope to get my hunting license. I figure if I can’t kill it, I shouldn’t eat it. But if I can, then I can also provide myself and my family with meat for the year. It would have to be rationed out of course and I think we would therefore be much more appreciative when we ate it.)