So it’s been awhile since my last post.
And today’s post isn’t going to be about farming, or the garden.
The blog was supposed to be about what makes me angry about the world. Its the first question of many to help me pin down exactly which revolution I want to lead, exactly which path I want to go down to help make this world a better place. But alas, my mind and fingers have led me to write about something else completely, in a sense. But I like what I have written. And it represents me, who I am, what I have been thinking for the past hour. And I have come to a point in my life where I want to share that with the world. So I hope you enjoy.
I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to blog regularly. It’s what I had planned to do right? And if I didn’t do what I said I was going to do, people would think that I wasn’t following through on my plans (which is true).
But I felt that people would think negatively of me for this. Because as I have grown up, I have learned to associate good and bad with things. And not following through on your plans has been associated with the bad. But alas, I need to remind myself that good and bad are one in the same. Sometimes, what is bad, can really be good. There is no one way to live your life. And things happen for reason. If I haven’t been blogging about gardening, there must be a reason for it right. Because I was doing other things with my time. Because I had placed more value on other things.
But really, I don’t know what other people are thinking. Really, people aren’t even thinking of me. Sure, they might have certain thoughts as they come across me, as I enter their sphere from time to time, be it in person, or through the web. But ultimately, their thoughts, like mine, have to do with themselves and their immediate surroundings.
And my guess is that when people are thinking of you from far away, they are thinking positive thoughts. They are missing you, or they are worried about you, but in a caring way. They are sending you love.
And those who are actually sending bad vibes to others…well those are the people whose opinions you needn’t worry about. And really, those are the people who need the most love in those moments. Because to be sending bad vibes to someone, you really need to be in a low place; a place without confidence, a place without love.
I would like to believe that no one is ever really in that place. That those sentences wouldn’t actually resonate with anyone. But I feel like that would be unrealistic of me. And so I would take this time to quickly say, as a reminder, just in case, if in the future, anyone were to find themselves in such a place, that it is ok. To not feel guilty for such thoughts. To not hold on to them. To remember that you are worthy and amazing. That there are people who love you. I love you. I may not know you, but I love you. And to let go of your negative thoughts and push yourself to see things in a positive light.
Words are powerful. Thoughts are powerful. Our minds are powerful.
And our minds can be difficult to train. But it can be done. It just takes practice. Like anything else.
When we are kids, we are used to not being good at things right away. And we have to practice to get good at them. And there are some things we practice more than others. But as we become adults, we tend to keep only those things that we are good at (those things which we have practiced the most). And when we try something new, we compare it to that which we can already do. Things we are already good at. And we expect to be just as good, relatively fast. And when we realize that it’s going to take longer than we thought, we tend to give up. We tell ourselves, it’s not “our” thing, it’s not meant for us. We resort to doing things which come easy. But it’s hard to find fulfillment in life from things that come easy. Fulfillment comes from spending time, and energy, and sweat, and tears and love working towards something you believe in.
I think that’s what many of us look for. Crave for. I try to avoid generalities. I try to avoid laws, and absolute truths (because there will always be a critic, someone who tries to tear down your opinion or your point, and so I guess it’s a self defence mechanism. I admit I do not know all. Please don’t assume I think I do, and use that as a way to ignore the larger message). But really, I don’t think anyone would say “No, I don’t want to be fulfilled”.
We have to remember to be beginners again. We have to remember to be learners. You will not start something and be an expert. It takes years of practice to get there. And maybe your goal is not to be an expert. You may simply want to be better at something.
Remember, even those who are experts, can lose that sense of fulfillment. Because fulfillment comes from working towards something you believe in. It comes from reaching a point you never thought you would hit, or you feared you couldn’t reach, and looking back, and saying “I did it”. “I made it”.
Fulfillment comes from surprising not others, but yourself. Some of the hard work may leave you tired, leave you scared, leave you frustrated. But when you believe in something so much, you push through. Your belief triumphs your doubts. (I just had a good vs evil thought)
And so to feel fulfilled, you must believe in something. And belief is just like faith.
So I think the first step to fulfillment is belief or faith. Belief in yourself to accomplish something that you haven’t yet accomplished. (Hence the importance of doing new things, or striving for more). Perhaps something that others may not think is possible. But if you think it, you can create it. If you think it, you can do it. You just have to believe that you can.
And you can train your mind to think that you can. You just have to catch yourself every time you find yourself with a negative thought or a doubt. Be mindful of your thoughts. Do not ignore them. But recognize them for what they are. Just thoughts. Just as you can have a negative thought, you can also have an equal and opposite positive thought. In the moments that you feel you can’t, remember that you can.
You can either hop around doing a lot of little things. Feeling fulfilled by this, and then by this, and then by this. Always making small goals, attaining them, and then moving on to the next. Or you can make big goals, and dedicate much time and effort into them. I do believe that what you put in is what you get out. And so the bigger goals that take more time and effort will ultimately bring you more fulfillment.
Those who have left a mark on society are those who dedicated a good portion of their lives to something. Not their whole lives mind you. They were still children at one point. They were still confused teens at some point. They may even have been adults going through a mid life crisis. They were just like you and I. They were not perfect. They had doubts. They may also have had families and friends, and a social life. But at some point, they began to believe in something so much they spent the majority of their time (if not more) working towards it.
I don’t believe they “found” something to believe in. It didn’t fall into their laps. It was not something else that found them. It was their brains, their minds, that changed. Whatever experiences they had gone through, whatever they had learned, they realized the power of their mind. They realized the power of belief. They realized that if you believe in something enough, you can make it a reality. And so they believed they were capable of creating a new reality. The reality they wanted to see. They were the change they wanted to see in the world.
And that is how to make a change, that is how you leave a mark, that is how you look back and feel fulfilled. And yet, we never hit a plateau. We never really stop working towards something. Martin Luther King didn’t stop. Mahatma Ghandi didn’t stop. They didn’t hit a point, and look back and go, I am good. I needn’t do anymore. We have moments in our life where we look back and can take a few seconds or a few minutes to relish in what we have accomplished. To remind ourselves of what we are capable of doing. But we are supposed to take these moments as inspiration to keep moving forward. To keep working.
Fulfillment is not only achieved in a moment, it is achieved by a journey. As they say life is not a destination, it is a journey. You are only living when you are moving. You can be moving forwards or you can be moving backwards. You can be moving side to side. But you must be moving. Working towards something. And when you don’t know what to work towards, take that time to figure out what you want to work towards. It’s not just about keeping your feet moving until something falls into place. It’s about taking that time of confusion to look within, or look out, and figure out what you want to work towards, what you believe in.
We can all train our minds to believe in something. Big things and small things. And I think the small things can change as we move through life, learning, taking in new information. But ultimately, I think the big things we all want to believe in are ultimately the same.
Can you imagine the world we could be living in, if we all worked towards those big things; peace and love. (I’m laughing at myself because I realize how hippie I sound, and this whole blog has just come out, rolled out of me in a sense.)
But if I believe in anything, I do believe that peace and love are the two things that everyone wants, in their heart of hearts. It’s what we all crave for.
It’s easy to doubt. It’s easy to say, no it’s not possible. It’s easy to be the devil’s advocate.
But it can be just as easy to believe. If you choose to.
I can imagine such a world. And imagination is the first step in making something a reality.
I also think I’m not the only one.